The Fix
by Literary Assassin
Summary: In response to the tremendous stuff-up that has occurred on Last Tango in Halifax, let me FIX it for you. The policeman knocks on Caroline's door, and after that we have a tale of realisation, hurt, recovery, pain and joy all rolled into one. With all we know of Caroline, we know this won't be easy for her, but what we do know is that Kate and Caroline will live happily ever after
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Good morning fellow mourners!** I'd like to introduce you to a new story that will help us all forget what She-who-must-not-be-named has done to the best same sex relationship on television. Ever. Now, I haven't watched THE episode and I don't want to, I've seen enough on-line and whatever to destroy me completely, so we're going to remix the Wedding and forget THE INCIDENT ever happened. Cos let's face it, it's shit and we hate her a little [a lot] for it. So, **lazysundae49** did a CRACKING job of making me feel a little better with her fic** I Will Stay**, then I went on Tumblr and saw pics of episode 4 again - bad mistake - so now I feel like crap again. So, I'm going to attempt to write something that will make me stop feeling like crap (maybe) and we'll see how it goes.

I hope you all enjoy it. Please remember, and I'm spoiling the ending terribly I suppose, that **our ladies WILL have their happy ending**. I just don't know when that will be or how we will get there yet. But at least we know...they WILL! (NB: I changed Flora's middle name, and got Kate's Mum's name from the cast list. If anyone truly hates it I'll change it back...)

As always I've taken liberties with hospital policy, creative license and the lot. I would however like to say a bit good-on-ya to all the nurses everywhere, cos I know whenever I've been in hospital, they're the ones that look after you - no offence to doctors, they're nice too - but the nurses...they're special.

**Many thanks to the iron ill** for pushing me to get this up and for editing it long hand! To everyone who reviewed And the Dance Goes On telling me that I need to write this. **And to Spin** for dealing with my madness over this ridiculous turn of events. This story has not been beta-d, but might be in the future!

**EDIT: And to shallotpeel** who meticulously went through all of this fic and caught any mistakes I didn't! Thank you. Please enjoy updated, lovingly corrected chapters!

-0-

When she looked back, Caroline could barely remember the policeman at the door. All she remembered was feeling like the bottom was falling out of her world, and as she paced the hospital waiting room she could feel it slipping away completely.

She had a daughter. No doubt a beautiful one, but horrifically - awfully - all she wanted was Kate. She nodded numbly as the doctor relayed the news of her new baby's birth, but watched on in horror as he rushed back in the operating theatre as the very bells of hell sounded.

Her heart stopped sometime then and she wasn't sure if it was going to start beating again.

The doctor came back out later, though she didn't know when - she had no concept of time - and he looked at her, putting his hand on her arm, perhaps to stabilise her.

"She's alive -"

Caroline could hear someone crying, sobbing and she wished she could tell whoever it was to shut up, that it was okay, that her Kate was alive, and everything would be alright. It was only when Celia's arms wrapped around her that she realised that she was making the atrocious noise.

"Talk to me Caroline," Celia asked, looking horrified. "Talk to me love."

"She's alright," she managed to hiccup, looking up at the doctor, who seemed so much taller from where she was on the floor. "She's alright?"

"She's not out of the woods yet, but she is alive. She had some internal bleeding and as I say, she's not out of the woods - it will be a long road to recovery - but she is alive."

She wasn't sure how she felt. She wasn't sure there was a word to describe the feelings that seemed to be exploding out from all around her. She looked at her mum, who had tears rolling down her face, and then back at the doctor.

"I want to see her," she growled.

"Of course," he said, holding out his hand. "She's just in recovery, but as soon as she's -" he pulled her up after she accepted her hand - "in the ICU, you can see her. Only you though, I'm afraid."

"I don't care, I need to see her."

"I understand," he said kindly. "But it could be an hour. We're not letting her go until we're sure she's okay."

"Yes but -"

"She will be okay," the doctor reassured her, and for some reason he reminded Caroline of William. "But perhaps you ought to go and see your daughter first. I'll get the nurses to page you as soon as we're ready."

"I -"

"Come on love," Celia said, her arm still firmly around Caroline's middle. "Kate would want you to."

For a moment a massive burst of hot and vicious anger surged through Caroline, and she almost asked Celia what the hell she would know about what Kate would want, but she bit it back, swallowed it like it wasn't there and nodded dumbly.

Flora.

She'd laughed when Kate suggested it, but it was perfect for the little angel currently gripping her finger. She was the most beautiful thing she'd seen, along with Kate, and her two boys of course, but it physically hurt to look at her. Everything about her reminded her of Kate. Her beautiful eyes, her skin, her very being reminded her that Kate was currently lying somewhere alone because Flora had survived. She passed the baby back to the nurse and ran to the closest bathroom and threw up violently, hot tears streaming down her face.

She was so very afraid.

It was Alan who found her. Dear, darling Alan who mopped her up, sat her down and knelt on the very hard floor of the hospital bathroom and held her hand for so long, she was sure his knees would never be the same again.

"I'm so sorry," Caroline said eventually, when she finally could talk. "I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, I was angry at Mum."

"I know," Alan nodded. "I'm not saying it didn't hurt; it cut deep and I were shocked -"

"I shouldn't have said that to you, I was so determined to, to enjoy our -"

She took a very deep breath and tried not to cry again.

Caroline Dawson to the ICU please, Caroline Dawson to the ICU

"Come on love," Alan said, standing with a groan. "Your Kate's a-waitin' for you."

Caroline impulsively pulled Alan into a hug and got a delighted chuckle in response. She ran down the corridor, leaving her mother calling out to her from beside the nursery window. As the ICU doors appeared in front of her, she slowed to a walk and tried to breathe.

The doctor who had operated on Kate was waiting for her, even though she was fairly sure that wasn't exactly procedure.

"Caroline, she's doing remarkably well. She came through recovery perfectly and at this stage we're going to keep her in ICU until she wakes up."

"Will that," she cleared her throat and blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the tears. "Will that be long do you think?"

"Honestly? I don't know. She's had a hard knock and I'd really prefer to wait and see what happens over the next day or two before we look at projections." Caroline nodded, but her lip trembled. "Have you been to see the baby?"

"Flora," she gasped, her throat barely working. "Her name's Flora."

"Beautiful," the doctor said, pushing open the doors. "Come on through and tell her all about it."

"Is she, was she -"

Caroline wasn't sure what she was asking, but the doctor beckoned over a nurse to stand on the other side of her while he moved forward and opened the curtains around her bed. In hindsight, it was exactly the right thing to do because Caroline's knees couldn't hold her up any more. The doctor and nurse ferried her over to the chair beside Kate's bed and while the doctor took his leave quietly, the nurse stayed at the foot of the bed.

Kate looked so peaceful that Caroline had to stare hard at her to really see that she was injured.

"She had a big knock," the nurse said, annoying Caroline with her cheery tone. "Her spleen was damaged and there was a lot of internal bleeding, which the doctor sorted out. She's banged up and bruised but she's strong. She stayed strong the whole time."

"You were there?" Caroline asked, looking up just for a moment before going back to Kate.

"Yes," the nurse said, her voice easing a little.

"There were, the alarms -" she shook her head.

"She was touch and go - I won't lie," the nurse confirmed quietly, coming to stand at Caroline's shoulder. "But as I said. Strong."

"We got married yesterday," Caroline whispered, her hand finally reaching out and grabbing Kate's, her thumb rubbing over her wedding ring.

"That's why then," the nurse said. "She couldn't wait to go on her honeymoon."

Caroline snorted, but started crying again, almost immediately, allowing the nurse's hand on her shoulder, squeezing a little, until she'd pulled herself together again.

"I'll get you a cuppa," the nurse whispered. "Talk to her, some patients can hear you, and sometimes it just helps to talk."

Caroline didn't watch the nurse go, but when she heard the curtain pull around the bed again, she scooted the chair forward, kicked off her shoes and knelt on it, leaning on the bed.

"I've never said this before," Caroline whispered in Kate's ear. "I've not said it before because I had never really said it before anyway - only to the boys and it always seemed awkward," she shook her head. "Doesn't matter, I love you Kate Dawson, and yes I do want you to change your name," she chuckled, realising how stupid she sounded. "I love you, and I need you back. I can't, I don't know how to do this without you."

The curtain moved and she leaned back a little so she wasn't crowding Kate, but didn't withdraw completely.

"Don't mind me," the kind nurse said. "Just bringing your tea. I'm Bess, by the way. You need anything, or if she moves, you push this button and I'll come running."

"Thank you," Caroline whispered.

"You're welcome," Bess nodded, leaving her once more.

Caroline sighed, feeling as if she'd gone fifteen rounds with Mike Tyson. The relief that Kate was okay, not well, but okay was making her hands shake and she looked at the tea beside her bed.

"I guess I'll have that tea you promised me without you," Caroline said, remembering a conversation they'd had before Kate had left the house. "Shit," she closed her eyes. "I have to ring your Mum!"

Pushing that firmly out of her mind for now, she entwined their hands and, smiling a little at Kate's ever apparent warmth, sat back. She tucked one foot under her and bent her other leg up so she could rest her head on her knee, her eyes taking in all of Kate's beautiful face. She couldn't believe that in less than 24 hours they'd had so many ups and downs. If only she'd taken the boys. She knew why Kate wanted to; retaining independence and all that, but at so many months pregnant, Caroline should have put her foot down. She should have agreed to accompany her. The guilt that she'd refused to feel up until now overwhelmed Caroline and she struggled to put the mug down before it dropped out of her hands.

"I'm so sorry," Caroline whispered, her breath catching once more as the tears started. "Oh God Kate, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for letting you go, for not fighting harder for you, for what's happened! For missing out on you giving birth, I know how much that experience meant to you. But it's going to be okay. Flora," she chuckled again at the name. She would never have chosen it herself, but Kate had persuaded her. All afternoon and some of the night, she'd persuaded her. "Flora is perfect. You know how I am, I'm going to have to - I'm not sure I'm going to cope," she swallowed. "You'd better wake up soon, because I can't do this without you. I told you that already. I'm with you Kate, I'm with you and I'm not hiding or shying away. Which means you need to be here too."

She closed her eyes as the curtain shifted again.

"Alright love?" a new voice said.

She didn't want to be rude, but she was going to be if the cheery woman appearing before her didn't get her hand off Kate's. And then she saw what she was bringing in with her.

"Oh," she muttered.

She wasn't sure if it was because she knew Kate was okay - she kept using that word, okay. Or whether she was just a little calmer now, after talking to Kate for a while, but she smiled, standing and moving over to her daughter's cot.

"Is she?" she looked at the nurse. "Can I hold her?"

"Course you can," the woman said gently. "Whenever you want to."

Caroline nodded and slid her hands underneath the little body, bringing her to her chest.

"Do you have a name for her?"

"Flora," Caroline whispered, "Flora Grace McKenzie Dawson."

"I'll put it on her chart," the nurse said, bustling over and easing Flora's hand out of her blanket. "Oh, I know child, I know," she said with a chuckle when Flora grizzled. "Just got to make sure everyone knows who your Mummies are."

"Sorry," Caroline said, tears starting again.

"Don't be," the nurse muttered, having finished writing on Flora's hand. "It's a tough time. No doubt you don't know what to feel. Are you happy about baby Flora here or are you sad about your beautiful wife?

Caroline nodded and tried to mop up her tears, but only succeeding in bringing Flora closer to her head. She hugged her as tightly as she dared, letting herself cry into the baby blanket.

"She had all these plans," she sobbed. "So many, about the baby and what she'd wear. All the bags are at home and I can't, I don't -"

"Let's sit you down," the nurse said, bringing in another chair and sitting Caroline down. The woman crouched down in front of her, one hand on her knee and one on the arm wrapped around Flora's body. "It's okay to feel lost, or alone, or completely overwhelmed. What has happened to you - to your family - is overwhelming, and sad, and terrifying. And it's okay to feel those things."

"You sound like her," she sniffed, smiling and blinking back tears. "Trying to make me tell her how I really feel."

"Good," the nurse said. "Someone got to keep you in line, yeah?"

Caroline laughed, and it felt good for those three seconds to do so. Until she looked at Kate again, laying there still on the bed. It sobered her up completely and she looked down at the baby and paused.

Flora had her eyes open and was looking at her. Really looked at her. For a moment, Caroline thought perhaps she'd realise that she wasn't her Mummy and start wailing, but after a few moments of eye contact, Flora yawned and snuggled into her breast.

"It's a feeling isn't it," the nurse said from where she was pottering at Kate's side. "Next thing we'll do, after we sort out her dinner, is to get you some Kangaroo time."

"I'm sorry?" Caroline said, looking up sharply.

"Skin on skin contact, helps the baby bond with the mother."

"Can we do that for Kate too."

"Oh yes, don't you worry, just got to wait for an okay from the Doc. Now, you've been in here a while, how about you take your darling daughter out to see your family and I'll help Kate here with some food for the little one."

Caroline swallowed and looked between Kate and Flora and the nurse.

"It will be alright dear, truly, I'll come and get you if anything happens."

With one more look at Kate, she turned, only to turn back almost immediately afterwards.

"I love you," Caroline whispered in Kate's ear, leaving a lingering kiss on her soft lips. "Flora does too."

The nurse smiled, and Caroline slipped from the cubicle and out into the hall. She stood there, looking at Flora until Bess caught her and guided her through the warren of corridors back to where they'd started.

"Caroline!"

She was crowded by her family and, even though she loved them, she didn't want them near her right now.

"Can I just -" she said with a hiss. "Just, give me some room."

They all did, Gillian, Gary and Alan, all moving away but Celia stayed by her, her hand gripping her arm.

"How is she love?"

"She's," Caroline swallowed. "She's alive, and they're happy so far with her progress," she managed to say. "They're just cleaning her up a bit and getting," she waved her hand. "They're pumping milk or something, for Flora."

"She's smashing," Alan smiled, moving forward slowly. Caroline let him, and she smiled a watery smile as his thumb rubbed her arm. "LIttle'n is alright though?"

"Yes," Caroline nodded. "Yes, she's fine. The nurse said I could bring her out here."

"Good, good." Alan said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She thought for a moment he'd do the same for Flora and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She wasn't letting go of her, that was for sure. She didn't care about protocol, or good manners; Flora was hers and for now, that was how it was going to stay.

"She's beaut'i'ful Caroline," Gillian said quietly from a good three paces away.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"What have they said?" Celia asked, guiding her to a chair with all her attention on Caroline's face.

"Just that she came through surgery well and that she was strong. Those alarms," she blinked, feeling Celia's arm tighten around her. "They were for Kate, but she was strong. So strong."

"She wanted to get back to you," Celia said. "About -"

"No." Caroline shook her head emphatically. "Don't. I don't want to talk about that."

"Okay, okay sweetheart."

"I have to call Kate's Mum," Caroline said. "But I'm not letting Flora go," she laughed. "Didn't think I was ever going to say that. But I need to tell her, she needs to know. She's in America."

"What's she doing there?" Celia asked.

"Christ Mum, how the hell should I know?" Caroline spat.

"Ey, ey now," Alan stepped in. "What if I ring 'er ey? I was about to go and get some dinner for everyone, I can make the call outside."

"Yep," Caroline said, nodding her head. "Sure." It was only then that she realised she didn't even know where her own phone was, let alone Kate's. "I don't have the number."

"What about we pop on home and see if we can't find it. We'll bring you some clothes and things."

"I don't know if i'm allowed to stay," she said, sounding small even to her own ears.

"We'll work it out," Celia said.

Caroline looked up as a nurse entered the room, and she recognised her as Flora's nurse.

"Ah, there you are. This is Granny is it?" the nurse nodded her head at Caroline's family. "We're ready for you to come back again, little one's no doubt ready for some dinner."

"What's the policy on Caroline staying on?"

"There's no way to stay in the ICU, but being ana early little one, I think we could bend the rules just a tiny bit and have you stay with little Flora, if you wish?"

"I do," Caroline nodded frantically. "I don't want to leave them."

"Alright," the nurse said, "bring her through."

"Caroline, we'll be off home, stop for some clothes and things and be back soon."

"Okay." Caroline accepted a kiss on her cheek and nodded to Gillian and Gary before following the nurse back to where Kate was still laying, unchanged.

"She didn't," she cleared her throat. "Nothing changed?"

"No, but it has only been a short while," the nurse reassured her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Tess," the woman patted her hand. "Come, let's get all this sorted.

Caroline sat on the chair again, her hand desperately wanting to reach out and take Kate's, but Flora was waking up and announcing she was ready for her first feed.

"Right, that's our cue. You ready Mummy?"

"I'm not Mummy," Caroline smiled sadly. "Kate is Mummy."

"Mama then?"

"Maybe," she felt like crying, but had no more tears to cry. "We never spoke about it. I, we thought we had more time."

"You'll work it out," Tess said quietly. "Don't you worry. Now, shall we?"

Caroline settled back, crossing her legs for a bit of stability and Tess chuckled.

"You've been holding out on me," Tess said. "How many do you already have?"

"Two boys," Caroline smiled, tracing Flora's face. "William's at Oxford, and Lawrence is a couple of years younger."

"Good big brothers," Tess muttered, handing her a bottle.

"William possibly, Lawrence is having a little more difficulty."

"He'll come round," Tess smiled. "Let's get some dinner into her."

Caroline remembered vaguely all the times she'd nursed her own boys and started by wetting Flora's lips and Caroline couldn't help but gasp a little when Flora grabbed hold of the teat and started sucking hard.

"She's as strong as her Mummy then," Tess said with a smile.

"Ah, good evening," the doctor said, smiling when he saw them. "How is the little one?"

"She's going strong Doc. Just like her Mummy."

"I'll just get on with my work then," the doc said. "Caroline do you want to step out?"

"I'd rather not," Caroline swallowed, trying not to disturb Flora.

"I'm afraid I have to insist. I'm going to check her sutures and you don't need to see that."

"She's just started," Caroline said with a frown, looking down at her daughter.

"I'll come back in a moment then."

Caroline finished Flora's feed and accepted the cloth to put over her shoulder. Tess helped re-arrange Flora on her shoulder and she snuggled into Flora's body, rubbing her hand up and down her tiny back. She let out a few muffled cries and snuffles, but Caroline could only smile.

"Oh Kate," she whispered. "I'm so sorry that I said I didn't want this, I'm so sorry."

"Shh," Tess said, appearing at her side. "Don't you worry now. Flora is on her way to sleep, and that is where she'll be for a while. We have enough for another feed when she wakes up, but you also need rest."

"I -"

"Your mother's outside, wants to talk to you, if you like I can take her, put her back in the nursery while she sleeps and you get some dinner, and a shower. It'll help you feel better, I promise."

"I don't want to go -"

"Oh, no," Tess said. "I meant here, I'll show you where everything is."

Caroline nodded and moved to transfer Flora to Tess' arms.

"Wait, is there, is there any way we can have her be with Kate for just a moment?" Caroline asked.

Tess looked at her, really looked, but then nodded.

"Alright, she cannot lay on her chest or stomach because of her injuries, but if you lay her here," she indicated along Kate's arm, "with her head against Kate's cheek, that should be fine."

"Kate? Oh Kate, she's here. Flora, your baby, she's right here darling." Caroline leaned forward and kissed Kate anywhere she could reach. "She's here and she's strong. You have to stay strong too. It's going to be okay as long as you're here with me, and Flora."

Flora was fast asleep, her first feed and busy afternoon in Caroline's arms exhausting her, but she nuzzled into Kate's face even as she slept.

"See," Tess said quietly. "She knows her Mummy. There's no way she won't."

Caroline nodded tearfully and squeezed Tess's hand with the one not on Flora's belly.

"You have been unbelievably kind to me today. Thank you."

"No worries love," Tess said. "Let me take her back to the nursery, and then I'm off home. If you need anything you ask for Anna, she'll set you right."

"Thank you," Caroline said, picking Flora back up and putting her down in the little cot. "Night night sweetheart," Caroline whispered, pressing a kiss to Flora's forehead. "Mama'll be with you soon."

"See," Tess said as she walked out with her. "I told you you'd work it out."

Caroline chuckled and watched Tess walk her child back to the nursery, leaving her standing in a corridor, unsure and alone.

"Caroline?"

"Mum!"

"We found your phone, and I know you probably would have wanted to tell them yourself, but William had rung twice and Lawrence once, so we picked Lawrence up, and William's coming back tonight," she shrugged. "I'm sorry love."

"No, it's okay," she sighed, feeling terrible for belatedly remembering she had two sons. "Thank you Mum."

"Well what kind of mother would I be if I -"

Caroline looked at her as Celia paused halfway. She knew what she was going to say - what kind of mother would I be if I wasn't there for my only daughter. And so they just looked at each other and Caroline was begging her silently not to start talking about it now.

"It'll keep," Celia said quietly. "As long as you know that I love you."

"I -" Caroline shook her head. "I just need to be here for Kate right now, and Flora. Can you stay at home with the boys?"

"Alright," Celia said. "Gary's driven Gillian back t'farm. This has all the essentials, clothes etc. I found this too, should I have brought it, or do you want me to take it home again?"

"No!" she practically screamed, grabbing it suddenly. "Sorry, I," she took a breath. "I think Kate's had this packed since, since -"

She closed her eyes and willed the tears to go away. She was done crying, she needed to be strong, she needed to be Kate's rock for once in her sodding life and like nothing had ever motivated her before, THIS would be the time that she was.

"It's Flora's bag. Kate had picked out a few outfits she wanted her to wear while they were in hospital."

"And how is she, Kate?" Celia asked.

"I don't know, the doctor made me come and see you while she got checked out."

"Alright love, well how about some dinner while we wait, I made soup, it's not much, but it'll put some food in you and there's plenty more."

Caroline nodded and sat where she was in the waiting room. There would be no jaunts to the cafeteria, no trips anywhere else, not while Kate was being looked at. She needed to be close to her lover, and this was as close as she could be right then.

"Do you want me to talk?" Celia asked almost too quietly as Caroline sipped the hot soup.

It was one thing her mother did well, one thing she'd learned from her, the cooking. The warm feeling that crept right down into her toes and wrapped her up like a warm hug as she guzzled the whole mug nearly in one go.

"Thought you might be hungry," Celia chuckled. "I told you, I made plenty."

"Thanks," Caroline said, holding out her mug to be refilled. "And you can, talk I mean."

"I met Gary. Obviously," she added after a time. "Gillian had invited him round for Sunday lunch. I'm sure she was three sheets to the wind, but he seemed pleasant enough, though there's something about him I just can't figure out. His wife though," Celia turned up her nose. "That woman is not right, set upon poor Harry, like it were his fault for ruining the lock."

"He was paralytic mother," Caroline said sagely, content to sip now, instead of guzzle.

"Well, yes, but she was nasty, really took to him and called him names. He's not all that stable, and to knock a man when he's down."

"Caroline?"

"Yes!" she said, standing up and turning to face the doctor, almost spilling soup all over her.

"Here," Celia chortled. "Give me that."

"Is she alright, is she okay?"

"She's doing well. There's no evidence of further bleeding, and her earlier brain scans look clear. It was reported that she did hit her head, but by the looks of it, it wasn't hard - so we're not too worried about that; there are no signs of even a mild concussion."

"So she's okay."

"For now," the doctor said. "We're going to keep her in ICU tonight, all of tomorrow and the next night as well. She can receive more 'round the clock care that way. Then, if she continues to show improvements, we can see about getting you and Kate and baby a private room, pending baby's release of course."

"Thanks," Caroline said, moving forward and hugging him. "I don't know how to -"

"You're doing it right now Caroline," the doctor said with a smile "You're thanking me by taking care of your family."

Caroline chuckled even as she started crying again.

"I'd like to stop crying sometime soon."

"Doubt that'll happen," the doctor said. "But that's okay too."

Caroline nodded and he squeezed her arm, leaving her with her Mum.

"Wait!" she called. "Can I go back and see her?"

"Visiting hours are strict in the ICU, you have until nine, but then you'll have to leave I'm afraid."

Caroline nodded and checked her watch.

"Go," Celia said. "I'll be here, come back out here and I'll walk you up to Flora."

She kissed her mum, leaving her with everything and raced back to the ICU ward, and to Kate's side. The sight of her filled her heart with joy and even after being away for such a small amount of time, Kate seemed to look better.

"I love you," she whispered, taking up her position of kneeling on the chair by her head. "I love you Mrs Dawson and we need you to wake up as soon as you can. No more sleeping for you once you're better."

She recalled the morning before, and then the afternoon when she'd stopped Kate to thank her, and her mind automatically went to their conversation about the day she had been so wired.

"More than a snog," Caroline chuckled, leaning down and resting her head where Flora's had been. "We'll have so many of those times Kate," Caroline said. "So many. I'm going to call Graham and Jennifer. They'll have to take over my duties when I get back. There might be an odd time when I can't escape being Headmistress, but until you get back darling, I'm going to be here with you and Flora."

The nurse came around to tell her that visiting hours were coming to a close, and she nodded her understanding. She nuzzled into Kate's neck, her hand gripping Kate's tightly and feeling their rings cutting into her hand.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me," Caroline whispered. "And I'm looking forward to snogging you in my office again. We'll have to get creative, because I bet Beverly will be watching us like a hawk now. Sleep well my beautiful wife."

She stood, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I love you Kate," she said aloud.

She had not been lying to Kate when she'd said that she was grateful for the strength to live as she was doing. And she realised with all this that she had wasted so much time being afraid.

"I'm not afraid anymore."

She nodded once to herself and leant in for another kiss.

"I never could get enough of you," Caroline chuckled, stepping backwards until she had no other choice but to let Kate's hand go. "I'll see you in the morning."

The waiting room was rather busy, on account of people leaving, but Celia was sat with her bags by her feet, waiting patiently.

"Are you going to be okay to drive back?" Caroline asked as she shouldered Flora's bag.

"I'll be fine," Celia said.

"I can't deal with -" she didn't want to voice her concerns. "Well, just you be careful alright?"

"'Course love," Celia said, linking her arm and walking with her to the nursery.

Caroline introduced herself and met Anna, the woman that Tess had briefed about her situation.

"I tried to get you a bed, but I'm afraid we're not going to be able to fit one," she said apologetically.

"Oh, not to worry, a chair will do fine," Caroline said, perhaps too eagerly.

"Thought so," Anna laughed. "Come through, Tess said to make sure you got a shower, but after that there's one with your name on it. It's right next to her crib."

"Bye love," Celia said.

"Sorry, bye Mum."

She waved, but they didn't hug. Caroline had long since lost her focus to her baby girl, waiting for her beyond the double doors. Anna lead her first into a private room and showed her where everything was. She showered quickly, agreeing silently with Tess that a shower was going to do her good. All the crying and the worrying had left her spent and all she wanted to do was curl up in bed with Kate and their baby.

When she was done, she poked her head out of the room and found the corridor empty. It took her a few moments before she met Anna again, sipping a cup of tea at the nurses station.

"I have some," she motioned to the bag. "Kate, my wife," she smiled involuntarily at the sound, "she'd packed this a couple of weeks ago."

"Would you like to open it while I'm with you?" Anna asked.

"Yes please," Caroline said, only now feeling a little unsure. "I've seen it all, I just -"

"I know," Anna said gently. "It'll be alright."

Caroline unzipped the bag and delved in, pulling out a little pink onesie with writing on it.

"Oh," Caroline laughed quietly, feeling more proud than ever before. "I haven't seen this one."

The little thing had feet, and was fleecy and super cute, but embroidered on the front it said My Heart Belongs to a Chemistry Teacher.

"I take it that's -"

"Me," Caroline laughed. "Oh, she's so funny."

The next onesie was pastel green and had a picture of the Eiffel tower and the words Je t'aime below it.

"Kate's the language teacher," she muttered quietly.

Caroline delved into the bag and brought out another couple of little sleeper suits and a beautiful little dress and bonnet.

"I think that must be for when we go home," Caroline said quietly.

"And you will," Anna said with a reassuring smile. "Now, let's go and get you sorted."

Caroline followed the woman into the nursery and right to the corner at the back. For a moment, she was miffed that Flora had been placed so far away, until she realised they'd done it deliberately so that she could stay with her.

"This is you. We'll be around to feed her if she cries."

"No! I, would I be able to do it?" Caroline asked, not willing to risk missing a single moment of Kate's baby, their baby.

"Sure," Anna nodded. "Just push the call button when you need the bottle."

Caroline settled down in the recliner, already knowing that her back would protest tomorrow, but she didn't care. Flora was alright, and Kate was alive, and improving in increments. Even small ones were something to be proud of.

"Keep them safe," she said, praying for the first time in so very, very long. "Please, just keep them safe."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Good evening/morning/afternoon/night. I would have had this up yesterday, for after the show ended, but I couldn't quite make it in time and for that I apologise. I hope everyone is okay, and not hurting too much - I myself didn't watch it, but I know the impact I felt anyway so hugs all around for everyone!  
>So, this is not quite beta-d, but should anyone see anything glaringly obvious that I've missed, please don't hesitate to point it out. As always, I remind you that, no matter how bleak it seems, there will be a happy ending.<br>There is ****_always_**** light at the end of the tunnel - you just have to work out what you're seeing.  
>A special thank-you to <strong>**_the iron ill _****for being so super awesome to me in the short time that we've known each other, and to ****_Spin_**** for always putting up with me and dealing with my slightly manic obsession over these two characters.  
>As a general disclaimer - I do not work, nor run a hospital. I have been to a hospital a total of two times in recent years to see babies and I was not made to disinfect, or change, or anything, so please take all hospital policies in this fic with a pinch of salt and add in whatever policies you know of in your own head.<br>Once again, hugs all around and thank you to everyone who has already reviewed. I've replied to most of you, and the ones I have missed, I'm going to do right now :)**

**EDIT: And thank you to shallotpeel** who is beta-ing this fic to perfection!

-0-

She blinked awake blearily. Something was screaming next to her, and she wondered if she was still trapped in her nightmares. She groaned, feeling like she was hundreds of years old before she realised where she was.

"Oh, oh," she said, standing and reaching into the crib. "It's okay sweetheart. Mama's here."

She didn't even know what she was muttering, but Flora reduced the volume a little when she came to rest against Caroline's chest.

"You're hungry hm?"

"Evenin'" Anna said in a whisper, holding out a bottle. "She okay?"

"Yes, I think so," Caroline said, turning so Anna could check on her.

"Yep, looks like she's just hungry," she chuckled as Caroline moved the bottle closer to Flora's mouth. The little sucking action that all babies did appeared on her features and Caroline let her have the teat, kissing her forehead as she suckled.

"If you're awake, we might try a bit of Kangaroo time?" Anna said. "Tess suggested it on her file."

"I'd like that," Caroline smiled.

"Alright, you finish what you're doing and I'll be back in half an hour."

Caroline sat back down on the recliner and watched Flora downing her midnight snack. Despite her exhaustion, she felt alive watching her. The only thing that could have been better was if they were sitting at home, Kate cradled between her legs while she watched over her lover's shoulder as their daughter fed from the source. She sat there, deep in thought and wondered if Kate would ever get to have that special moment with Flora. Kate wanted so desperately to be a mother and Caroline, despite her earlier misgivings, had come to realise that she would do anything for Kate. So she made a few lists in her head, while Flora finished off her dinner, of things she needed to ask the doctors.

"All done?" Anna asked as she returned.

"Yeah," Caroline smiled gently, already rubbing Flora's back to ease any wind.

"Alright, if you want to pass her over, and then get situated in that chair, we'll get you some quality cuddle time."

Caroline passed her baby over reluctantly, but watched on like a hawk as Anna did some small and non-invasive tests, before picking her back up again and turning to Caroline.

"You're wearing the right clothes for it," Anna chuckled. "If you unbutton your shirt, about half way down, she'll be able to sit there on your chest comfortably enough."

Caroline did as she was asked, no longer caring about decorum, parting her lapels so her chest was nearly fully exposed.

"Perfect," Anna smiled. "If you want to hold her while I unwrap her?"

Caroline realised that despite having so much time with Flora, she'd never seen her whole body; never catalogued any knobbly knees or funny birthmarks. She held Flora like a precious jewel while Anna took off her blanket, and then she simply looked for a moment. She was beautiful. She had ten fingers and ten toes and beautiful dark eyes and the funniest little tufts of hair on her head. She was all Kate, which was good because Caroline had promised herself to never even think about who else was involved.

"She's a very pretty baby," Anna said with a smile. "And no, I don't say that to everyone."

Caroline chuckled at the coincidence of Anna saying those specific words about Kate's child. She nodded and allowed Anna to explain what they were going to do.

"Just hold her," Anna said finally, once Flora was settled against Caroline's skin. "Then I'll pop the blanket over you and leave you to it."

Caroline settled in and eased back, taking Flora with her against her chest. She wasn't too premature, a couple of weeks, but Anna had said that this particular procedure was more vital than any other as far as she and the other maternity ward nurses were concerned.

"There you go," Anna said, tucking the blanket around Caroline. "If you feel like you're falling asleep, push the call button and we'll pop her back, but I'll be back to check on you every fifteen minutes. You have to sleep too."

Caroline merely nodded, feeling exhausted, but with happy tears already running down her face. The beauty of the moment was immense, and she desperately wanted to talk to Kate about it. She needed to talk to Kate about it. She wouldn't be sleeping, she knew that for sure. She was going to sit here and soak up this feeling for as long as she could. Caroline could already feel the strength that Flora was giving her, making her snap out of her sadness. It was as if Flora was telling her that she was here now, and that she needed Caroline. Those thoughts lead to thoughts of her boys, and she wondered how they were. She was still angry at Lawrence for missing the wedding, but in the quiet moments of the ward, she realised she wasn't surprised he had.

They had been so unfair to him and she was ashamed to think about it now. It didn't make the pain of his missing the wedding any less, a pain that was different to the one she felt with her mother, but it did give her something to chew on while she sat holding her baby.

"I should have spoken to him," Caroline admitted against Flora's hair, kissing and nuzzling against it while they sat. "I should have made sure he understood; spent more time with him. I should have been a better Mum."

In her marriage to John, she'd withdrawn, from life as much as her family. And while Kate had dragged her heart out of that withdrawal, her brain was obviously yet to catch up with it.

"Stupid Mama," Caroline whispered, resting her cheek on Flora's head. "Totally stupid."

Flora chuffed a little in her sleep and wriggled under Caroline's hands, but she didn't wake. Anna came in a few times before Caroline drifted off, Flora resting over her heart with tiny fists curled up and stretched out across her chest as if she was hugging Caroline tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** So, here we are again. I'm enjoying this as much as you guys are, and I can't wait to show you what I have in store for later. Hope you all continue to like it. Please, as ever, let me know what you think! Even if you think I'm off the mark. I do so love constructive criticism.

As ever, please excuse my ignorance of hospital policies etc. I take a great many liberties with it so don't come down too harshly on me!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to** the iron ill **and **shallotpeel** for beta-ing! Coulnd't do it without you both! And to **Spin,** as always, for letting me vent my frustrations about Sally Wainwright and for floating ideas and theories about the story and the series.

-0-

"Caroline? Caroline, wake up!"

"KATE!"

She shot up, nearly colliding with Anna looking around wildly.

"Easy Caroline, easy," Anna said, holding her arms by her sides. "Easy, it's okay. You're in the nursery."

She rubbed her face and looked around, seeing that she was indeed where she was being told she was. Shaking her head to try and clear the cobwebs, she looked back at the woman who roused her.

"Sorry," Caroline said quietly. "Bad dream."

"I know," Anna said kindly. "That's why I woke you."

"Thanks," Caroline said, looking around again. Most of the babies that had been in there during the night had gone, and she looked at her watch, astonished at how late she'd slept.

"Did I fall asleep with her?" she said suddenly, remembering her evening.

"You did," Anna said gently. "But I was watching. You both had a big long cuddle. And she seems better this morning; stronger."

Caroline nodded and looked down at their little miracle.

"I -"

"How about you go for a little wander, get a cup of tea and some breakfast and then come on back, we'll give little'n her bath and you can put some of those nice clothes on her? That sound alright?"

"Yeah," Caroline nodded dazed. "Yep, sorry, still half asleep."

"Tea will help," Anna said. "Don't go to the main cafeteria, go around to the outpatient's. Fewer people, better tea, more quiet."

Caroline chuckled, checked on Flora and kissing her gently, before grabbing her purse and phone and leaving the ward. She walked with purpose down to the ICU and asked one of the nurses if she could go in.

"Visiting hours aren't open yet I'm sorry," the nurse apologised. "If you come back at nine, we'll let you in."

"Can you, would it be possible for you to just check on Kate Daws- sorry McKenzie?"

"Sure."

Caroline fiddled with a brochure on the counter, before forcing her hands to stop. She tapped her foot instead.

"She's come through the night just fine, she's still unconscious but the doctor has just been to see her, ah," she said, waving to someone. "Doctor Perkins?"

Caroline looked up and saw the doctor from the day before, looking exhausted, but wearing a happy smile when he saw Caroline.

"Caroline! I've just seen your lovely wife," he pushed open the ICU doors and sighed deeply. "No offence, but I'll be glad to be home."

"Are you off now?"

"Yep," he said. "But I can chat if you like, about Kate?"

"I'd like that," she nodded. "I wasn't, I couldn't deal with it yesterday. Anna, the nurse who's looking after Flora, she suggested tea from the outpatients building?"

"Oh, we can do one better," he said, pointing up the corridor and leading the way.

He led her into a room that required a card to enter and set about boiling a well loved, but very clean kettle and rummaging in a cupboard for some biscuits.

"This isn't normal procedure is it?" she asked, sitting in a comfortable chair.

"No," he grinned, once again reminding her of William. "But then, you've had a hard day or so, and you remind me of me own Mum."

"I do?"

"Yeah, she and Ma brought my sister and I up together. Mum had me and Ma had Jane."

Caroline smiled, realising why she felt so much strength from this doctor, so accepted.

"Thank you," she said quietly, looking up at him. "I'm honoured to be compared to a woman, to both women who brought you up to be so kind."

"Ah, you're welcome. I guess you have a few questions?"

"I, yes," Caroline blushed. "I really wasn't hearing anything yesterday. I didn't even see Flora properly until last night. I just," she sighed. "Can you imagine you're explaining it all to me again, and I can ask questions as we go?"

"Sure," he said, sitting back and taking a sip. "Kate; I never really asked, do you mind if I call her Kate?"

"Of course not," she smiled. "You saved her life, and besides, if you call her Ms McKenzie you'll just sound like one of her students."

He nodded and continued.

"Kate came in after being hit by a car. I don't know how much you know about it, we really only know how she was injured and as car vs pedestrian cases go and it certainly wasn't the worst I've seen. The ambulance guys said that the driver either clipped her side - which is in line with her injuries - or the driver wasn't going very fast."

"So you, they, think he just clipped her."

"I do, if she'd have been hit head on, I think things would have been much, much worse."

Caroline put her tea on the table and swallowed hard. The thought of something worse was inconceivable.

"Okay," she whispered.

"As injuries go, as I said; not the worst I've seen. It will all take a bit of healing but it's perfectly manageable. Her spleen was damaged, but not irreparable, which is good because that means we could leave it in to heal. She's fractured her ankle, we did a few x-rays after her surgery and so far, it looks like just the sort of fracture you'd want -if you had to have one. We haven't got a cast on her just yet, the swelling needed to go down a bit before we re-assess. Her foot, on the same side is broken; we fixed what we could, but she'll need an appointment with a specialist as soon as she's able just because of all the little bones in it. We'll sort all that out though, no need to worry. She had the baby; as you know, there were no complications or problems from that. She has very bruised ribs, possibly torn the muscles a little but we won't know for sure until she wakes. They're not broken though, and we'll probably find a few more bruises as she continues to heal. The bottom line is, she will need a lot of rest, and some careful rehabilitation, and," he took her hand. "She's alive."

Caroline was reeling. Considering this wasn't a bad case, she felt woefully overwhelmed.

"Caroline?"

She closed her eyes and just concentrated on breathing.

"Caroline, it's okay, she was lucky. Really, really lucky."

She took a final deep breath and looked at him. Tears crept into her eyes again and she growled as she wiped them away.

"When do you think she's going to wake up?"

"Honestly?" he asked, passing her tea back to her. "I don't know. I don't want to guess because I don't want to give you a deadline and have it pass by. Human bodies are difficult to fathom. Sometimes people who have been knocked hard on the head wake up in a day and people who have been thrown from a horse take a week."

"A week?"

"It's just the strange way our bodies work. You never can tell."

"But you think she _will_ wake up," Caroline said, double and triple checking the sincerity of his response.

"As a doctor I should say 'there's no guarantees' but as someone who wants nothing but happiness for your little family, I, as myself, think she will. She has too much to live for."

"What about breastfeeding. I," Caroline swallowed, feeling the need to explain. "Kate has tried to have a baby all her life, she had four miscarriages and I, I need her to have this. She needs to be a Mum and I'm just really worried that she's going to miss out on that."

"She needs to heal and rest a bit more first," he said sadly. "And ideally, I'd like her to wake up. The way she's going, she'll be in a ward probably tomorrow. If that goes well, then I'll talk to the ward doctor and we can think about it. Can you give me another day?"

"No," she muttered. "But I don't have a choice do I? Okay," Caroline muttered, knowing she had no other choice. "Okay."

"Caroline, I need to ask you something; have you got someone to lean on? Because while I admit I don't think she'll be unconscious for a week - certainly if she is we'll do more tests, but have you got someone to help you? Because I was talking to Tess last night and she thinks Flora will be able to go home in the next few days, which is great Caroline, it really is. But you have to prepare yourself; Kate will be here longer, even once she's awake."

Caroline looked at her hands. Did she have someone to lean on? To help her with things at home and at the hospital?

"My," she cleared her throat as her voice caught. "My mother didn't approve," she explained quietly. "She refused to come to my wedding, and let my youngest son stay home too. She's been great since yesterday, but I'm still so -"

"Angry? You should be, that would have hurt, but can you put that aside while you deal with all of this? Can you trust her to stay with Kate so that you can get some decent sleep?"

"I don't know," she admitted, appreciating his forthrightness. "My eldest son would be the person I would say in a pinch, but he's at Oxford and I don't want him to miss that. There's my step-sister, I suppose, but she has a farm, and our relationship goes from volatile to passive sometimes on a daily basis."

"Go back to your Mum then. Think about asking her to do the things that you can't manage that keep her at arms length until you can deal with it."

"You're very good," Caroline said with a wry grin.

"As I said, I had a good upbringing."

"Yes," Caroline nodded. "You obviously did."

"Maybe once all this craziness is over, I'll introduce you."

"I -" she paused, wondering at the weird day she was already having. "I think I'd like that, we'd like that; Kate loves people."

He chuckled and stood, washing her mug and standing before her with his arm outstretched.

"It's nearly visiting time, and you said something about your baby?"

"Yes, we're giving her a bath today," she smiled.

"Excellent. I'll leave you to it then," he turned to go before turning back. "Caroline?"

"Yes -" she frowned. "Sorry, I don't know your first name?"

"Dominic," he grinned.

"Yes Dominic?" she smiled.

"She'll get better, I'm sure of it. Keep talking to her, pay attention to her. Push her if you can, _make _her come back to you. Remind her of what she's missing out while she's there."

"Thank you," she smiled, taking a deep breath. "I will."

"Good, I'm off for twenty-four hours. I'll come and find you if Kate's in the ward by 'time I get back."

Caroline nodded and took a moment to watch him go. The odds of finding such a charming young man as their doctor was astronomical and she thanked every deity she knew for allowing it to happen.

It didn't take her long to get back to Flora and Anna saw her coming and met her at the door.

"Have a good breakfast?"

"I had tea," Caroline shrugged. "And spoke to Kate's doctor."

"Hmm, Dreamy Dominic," Anna muttered, making Caroline laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

"He's not my type," Caroline said through her chuckles.

"More for us nurses to perve on then," Anna grinned. "Let's get your daughter in her bath."

Caroline watched on as Anna got everything ready, remembering it all a little differently from when she had the boys. Once her hands were under Flora and lowering her into the water though, her arms seemed to know what they were doing.

"Definitely not your first time," Anna said, handing her things, but letting her do most of it herself.

"Two boys, couple of years apart. This part was easier than both of them at the same time. I had to wear wellies to cope with the water on the floor."

The memories helped her smile through the bath, and once they'd wrapped her up in a towel, Caroline kissed Flora all over her face while Anna did a few necessary checks and cleaned her cord.

"She's looking better and better," Anna remarked as Caroline put her nappy on.

She was small, but not tiny, and so most of what they had for her in Kate's bag fit her, and soon, she was snuggled up in the green onesie and a little beanie that Kate's mum had sent them. Caroline's hands trembled as Anna handed her a blanket she'd found at the bottom of the bag, under everything else.

"Oh my god," she said, looking at the ceiling and willing the tears away. "She's sneaky, my wife."

"I'm not following."

"That's my boys' blanket. I showed it to her once, ages ago. She must have grabbed it when I put it back. She really did think of Flora as my baby too."

"'Course she did," Anna said, rubbing her arm. "You're her wife, her baby's mother. Ideally not the situation she probably imagined you both having her in, but you're doing what you are supposed to; what she'd want you to while she can't."

Caroline nodded and wrapped Flora up, smiling serenely when her little girl sighed happily and fell straight off to sleep wrapped up in her own things.

"She's a funny one," Anna chuckled, wheeling her bed in. "She doesn't act like a premie, it's like she's got a little mind of her own already."

"Of that I'm not surprised! She's my Katherine's daughter."

Caroline looked up, her arms tightening around Flora to counteract the shock of seeing a woman she'd only ever seen in photos.

"Hi," she said, still reeling, "I mean, hi."

"Don't panic Caroline, it's okay."

"I -"

The woman she knew as Kate's mother took two steps forward and wrapped her arms around Caroline and Flora and clung to them tightly.

"I wondered for a little while, if she knew what she was doing, marrying you," she whispered. "But now I know - my Katherine would not have settled for anything less than magnificent."

The tears poured out of Caroline like she hadn't cried four hundred gallons of them the day before. She let their bodies help cradle Flora and she wrapped an arm around Kate's mum, hanging onto her.

"Easy Caroline, easy."

Flora joined in the tears, and Caroline passed her over to her grandmother as soon as she offered to take her.

"Sorry, sorry," she said, wiping away her tears. "It's okay. I just got a bit overwhelmed. I'm okay," she breathed. "I am _really _glad you're here."

"As am I, it's a pleasure to finally meet you Caroline."

"And you Ginika," Caroline said genuinely. "Truly."

"What news have you?"

"How much do you know?"

"I," she looked up at Anna. "Do you mind if we take my granddaughter to somewhere with some chairs? I've been flying since yesterday."

"No," Anna smiled, pointing her towards the little lounge that was currently empty. "She'll need feeding, and if you need anything else," Anna looked at Caroline as she passed over a bottle. "Just let me know."

"She's protective of you," Ginika mused as they walked into the room. "My Katherine was right, you turn heads wherever you go."

"I don't, I mean, it's not -" Caroline took a deep breath and frowned. "They've been really good to me."

"I apologise," Ginika said, patting her hand and sitting down on a sofa. "I'm tired; tell me what you know."

"She was clipped by a car, the doctor - I spoke to him this morning. She has a broken ankle and foot, bruised ribs, um her spleen was damaged, but they repaired it. She had some internal bleeding, and obviously," she kissed her daughter's hair over Ginika's arm. "Had the baby."

"Are you going to tell me her name?"

"Sorry," Caroline sighed. "I'm - It's Flora. Flora Grace McKenzie Dawson."

"I," she looked at Caroline. "My middle name?"

"Kate was insistent," Caroline chuckled. "In fact, she was insistent about the whole thing, including my surname."

"She can be rather persuasive."

Caroline blushed darkly, providing Ginika with a little insight into what it had taken for Caroline to agree to the conditions of naming their child. The woman chuckled and passed the baby back to Caroline.

"She looks like Kate," Caroline said as she started feeding her.

"She does," Ginika agreed. "Right down to the hair. Katherine came out in such a rush and my husband always insisted she'd come out so fast, she'd left half her hair behind." Caroline laughed, kissing the little bald patch on her daughter's hair and looking back to her mother-in-law when she heard a ragged sigh. "Is she really okay?"

"Her doctor seems to think she will be. But she's unconscious, in a coma they said, and she's not awake yet."

"Would you mind if I saw her?"

"She's your daughter?" Caroline said, with a frown. "Of course you can."

"She's your wife now Caroline, your family more than mine, you are responsible for her now."

"No," Caroline said, shaking her head. "No, that's not what she would want, and not what I want. I've heard her talk about you, and I don't doubt she's spoken about me to you. I've absolutely no doubt you know all about my mother, and me," she took a shuddering breath. "I need you to help me, please don't stand on ceremony."

"And I will help you child," Ginika said, patting her hand. "Without a doubt."

Caroline nodded and looked down at Flora, who was watching them talk even as she reached forward and latched a hand onto Caroline's.

"Hello sweetheart," she said, talking to her properly for the first time. "I'm so very glad to meet you finally. This is Grandma, are you going to say hello?"

"Oh, she was wearing my bonnet," Ginika sounded happily surprised when she noticed it on Caroline's knee.

"Of course," Caroline said, wondering what the woman thought of her. "And Kate's surprise onesie."

"She always did have a sense of humour, my girl."

"Visiting hours start at nine, and end at nine in the ICU where Kate is," Caroline said. "I can take you down if you like, then I really have to call my boys. My mother told them, I haven't spoken to them since," she swallowed, thinking of when it was. "Since before."

"Alright then, can we take the little lady with us?"

"Um, I'm not actually sure," Caroline finished off the feed and transferred Flora to her mother-in-law to burp while she went to find Anna.

"Can I help you?" another nurse asked.

"I'm looking for Anna?"

"She's just finishing her rounds. I'll tell her you're looking for her."

"Caroline?"

She turned and greeted the friendly nurse, explaining the situation.

"She has to stay here for the morning and as long as you're here, anybody can come and see her, but official visiting hours - where you can take her out - are not until one. If you want to take her with you after that, you can, but you'll have to clear it with the ICU nurses if you want to take her to see your wife."

"Okay," Caroline nodded, sad, but understanding. "Thanks."

"No problem, I'm trying to get them to put you in a room for the day too. The situation is a bit unique, but it shouldn't pose a problem. It's not fair you sitting around in corridors and nurseries."

Caroline smiled, squeezing Anna's arm in thanks and went back to Ginika and Flora. She relayed the message to her mother-in-law and had a quick cuddle with Flora before Ginika left her to put Flora to bed alone, surprising Caroline a little by doing so.

"Night night sweetheart. I'll be back at lunchtime," Caroline whispered. "I'll tell Mummy that you need her to wake up."

She joined Ginika in the corridor and felt the woman's arm wrap around her's. She mused as they walked, how different a walk they could have been making if Kate wasn't the luckiest woman in the world. She shivered at the thought of a funeral for Kate and felt a little green, but Ginika squeezed her arm, and helped her steady herself. Kate was going to be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Good morning. I thought you might like some more. Although if I keep posting them this quickly, I'm going to have to write more quickly as well! This is a relatively short chapter. I think, as a NaNoWriMo of three years, my chapters usually end up around 2000 words - though I like to do more than that most times. This story, whether it's the nature of the content or what, has completely bucked that trend! So apologies for that. The next chapter is definitely longer!**

**As special mention to **_shallotpeel_**who has so expertly worked this story over with a fine-toothed comb! I am forever grateful. And to **_the iron ill_**for becoming my friend, for pushing me and for encouraging me so perfectly. Thank you lovely :D And to Spin, who's constant love and support is supremely awesome.**

**Enjoy :D**

-0-

She'd seen Kate, kissed her hair, and her eyes and her mouth, albeit a little more tentatively than she would have done had Kate's mother not been standing at the foot of the bed. She'd muttered a number of I love yous in Kate's ear and stepped back, allowing Ginika some time.

"Will you update her about Flora?" Caroline asked. "I really should ring the boys."

"I shall tell her about her father instead, I saw him a number of days ago. Your daughter's news should come from you."

Caroline smiled, but nodded, squeezing both Kate's hand and Ginika's before ducking outside of the hospital entirely to make her phone call.

"H'llo?"

"William?"

"MUM! Are you okay? Is Kate? I should have taken a taxi, I'm so sorry Mum, I didn't -"

"William? William sweetheart, it's okay. Don't -" he was crying, and she could feel herself crying too. "Please William, listen to your mother for a second, okay?"

He trailed off, but she could hear his breathing over the line and it broke her heart.

"She's okay. Unconscious, but okay. And it's not your fault sweetheart."

"But I -"

"Did you get on the train?"

"What?"

"Did you get on the train?" she asked again, hoping he'd take the bait.

"Yes?"

"And I bet that Kate stayed on that platform waving to you until you'd gone?"

"Well, yeah."

"Yes," Caroline nodded. "And she would have done that anyway. This is not your fault. If it's anybody's fault, it's mine for not going myself, or for not going with you at all."

"No Mum, it's not -" he paused as he realised what she'd done. She wasn't lying, she blamed herself, even though everybody kept telling her it was a freak accident, but it certainly wasn't William's.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, where's Lawrence?"

"He's upstairs," William said quietly. "He's -"

"Frankly as long as he's okay, I'll deal with it later," she said, a harsh tone creeping into her voice. "He's a grown lad, he can do what he likes."

"Mum, I just. I think he feels pretty bad."

"William," she sighed. "Don't make excuses for him, he _should _feel bad. I was wrong to not include him, help him understand, but what he did hurt me and I'm not going to get over that instantly."

"I understand," he said quietly. "Are you staying there today?"

"Yep," she nodded, though he couldn't see her. "I was wondering if Granny was up to bringing you both over."

"Both, as in Granny and me?"

"No, you and Lawrence. You need to meet your sister, and," she swallowed. "I think if you want to see Kate, you could, I'd have to check I suppose."

"Wait, is someone with her now?"

"Kate's Mum got here this morning, she's watching over Kate while I talk to you."

"Is she alright?"

"Kate?"

"No, her Mum."

"She's a bit," she chuckled. "I think I'd be scared of her if I'd have met her before, but she's helping."

"Good," William said emphatically. "And the baby?"

"All fine," Caroline smiled down the phone, so happy that her eldest was such a kind and gentle boy. "Just perfect. So, get Granny to bring you in, okay? When she's ready - she had a late night last night. We're in the same place as we were yesterday. Ask the nurses on the desk to come and get me, or if I'm not there, I'll be with your sister."

"I'm glad to hear you call her that. I heard you talking, ages ago, with Granny. You didn't seem as excited."

"I," she paused, wishing all her arguments and quiet discussions weren't actually whole family knowledge. "I wasn't, to begin with. Then we split up and I realised that Kate was everything I ever wanted. And as I said to Kate the morning we were married, she helped me, when she came back, giving me that chance; she gave me the strength to live as I want, as I _need_ to and that meant everything. And you haven't seen her, she's beautiful," she paused wondering how much to reveal to her eldest son. "I want us to be a family William, all of us. Especially now."

"We will be," he said genuinely. "I'll see you soon Mum."

"I love you William. I know I don't say it much, but I need you to hear it" her breath caught and she swore to herself she wasn't going to cry. "After this, I'm going to be saying it more, so you never forget. I love you."

"I know Mum and I love you too," he said happily. "See you later."

She hung up and closed her eyes, breathing in the fresh air of the rolling hills and dales.

"God Kate, I miss you. Wake up!"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Updates galore today. I had a virus in my Chrome browser, funnily enough (I didn't find it funny, but it was weird) which I've now kicked to the kerb! So we're celebrating. I also took LOADS of awesome photos of my local are and they turned out wicked - everyone go and Google Noosa, Australia (unless you're going to stalk me...but whatever) - they won't be my photos, but you won't be disappointed!

Anyway. I'm happy, you should be happy.

Plus. More Fix. This one goes out to **the iron ill** who brightens my day, **shallotpeel** who makes sure you can read it without it sounding like gobbledygook, to **Spin **for being the best friend a gal could have and to Twitter user **Erika G aka the_roxmaniac** for nagging me :D **You guys rock my world**.

-0-

"Mrs Dawson?"

She looked up from where she was enjoying more Kangaroo cuddling with Flora to find a new nurse standing at the door of the private room they'd managed to snag for her.

"There are some people here to see you, shall I show them through?"

"Yes please," she nodded, eager to see her boys, despite the anger she still felt towards Lawrence.

"Mum!"

She smiled, she smiled widely as William walked straight over to her and hugged her tightly. He was so careful not to squish his baby sister, and she wrapped one arm around his neck, breathing in his scent - the one she'd loved since they placed him in her arms all those years ago.

"Hi," he whispered, looking down at Flora.

"Hi," she said, squeezing his hand.

She looked up and saw Lawrence, her baby. She was so angry at him, and yet when she looked at him, she just wanted to go back to those days when he'd crawl up on her lap while she was marking, and kiss her lips and wrap his little arms around her.

"Come here," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

He did, but with apprehension in his eyes and Caroline, for the first time in a long time, felt like his mother again.

"I love you," she said, taking his hand once he'd come into her reach. "I love you Lawrence."

They looked at each other, him towering over her, until he cracked just a bit, and then a lot. His face screwed up, and his breathing turned erratic and he fell to his knees, resting his head on her hand.

"I'm so sorry Mum, I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to, I was, I don't know, I was just. I hate it, I hate it at school and you said that nobody would ever be mean to you 'cos you're big, but they're mean to me Mum, they're mean to me."

Caroline looked between Lawrence and Flora, not knowing what to do. She apologised to William with a look as she eased Flora off her mostly bare chest and had him put his hand on her while she buttoned herself back up.

"Here," she said to William, nodding him back onto a chair and helping him take hold of her.

It was a rush job and she felt torn as she turned around, until she knelt in front of Lawrence and pulled him into her arms.

"Come here," she whispered, kissing his hair. "I'm sorry too," she said, pulling his face from her neck so he could see her. "I'm sorry too. I, there were so many things that I did wrong and you bore the brunt of that. But I'm angry Lawrence, I'm so angry that you didn't talk to me, or to Kate or to William and I'm angry that you didn't come to my wedding. That was our day. The day we became a family and I know that I wasn't doing much to include you in that, but you should have been there."

"Granny wasn't," he sniffed, showing that childish side he hadn't quite let go of.

"Yeah," Caroline said, trying to keep her voice even. "Granny wasn't. But I might never forgive her for that."

And there it was, the stark truth. Her mother had gutted her by refusing to go, and she had lashed out at Alan and damaged their relationship too. And Celia, in her self righteousness, had allowed _her_ son to stay home, instead of putting aside her bigotry and joining them on the best day of Caroline's life.

"I very well might never forgive Granny," she repeated, hoping he understood that he, at least, had a chance. "Now get off the floor," she said not unkindly. "My knees are killing me."

He did as she said and moved to another chair, set apart from them both. Caroline wished he'd sat closer, but didn't say anything as she turned to William.

"So," she said, addressing both boys. "This is Flora Grace McKenzie Dawson."

"What about Dad's name?" Lawrence said.

"If you'd have been at the wedding idiot -"

"William," Caroline said quietly, but effectively. "Lawrence, I didn't want your Dad's name any more. So I'm Caroline Dawson again, as I was before I met your Dad. "

"But that's your name!"

"No sweetheart, it's not. That was my name while I was with him, but I'm with Kate now."

"But it's my name?"

"Yes," Caroline said, turning to face him. "It is, but it doesn't have to define you. I know you love your Dad Lawrence, I really do and I'm trying to support you in that, but the fact of the matter is, I don't love him, I haven't loved him in a _very_ long time. In fact, if I'm truly honest, I may _never_ have loved him," she paused and cupped Williams' cheek before moving back over to Lawrence. "But I love you, I said to William this morning, I'm going to start making sure you know that. You're going to have to give me some time - Rome wasn't built in a day - but I want to start being the mother you loved a long time ago. Do you remember?"

"You were fun then," he whispered.

"I was," Caroline agreed. "And I think I can be again, and I know you don't want to hear it, but I was so very sad with your father."

"You're with Kate all the time," he said in a voice that broke her heart. "Do you know that? Always."

"I -"

She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know how to express her feelings enough to make him understand that Kate was the love of her life. The absolute be all and end all of her entire being. She would be a mother forever but she would be Kate's forever as well now.

"I don't -" she stopped and tried again. "I want to try and explain it to you a bit, but I don't want you to get angry and upset. Flora is a very little baby and we're going to stay calm, alright?"

He shrugged, and Caroline figured that was the best she was going to get.

"I," she cleared her throat, wondering what to say first. "Kate, and I love each other. Do you know that? Do you get that?"

"Yeah," he shrugged again. "Guess so."

"When you love someone Lawrence, and I really hope you find someone you love - anybody who deserves you Lawrence, God knows I won't comment. But when you do, and this is not a cop out, when you do, you'll understand," she looked at his unimpressed face, and wondered how the hell she was supposed to explain. "Do you remember when you asked to go and live at your Dad's?"

"Yeah," he frowned, clearly not following what she was asking.

"Okay, you said I was boring, do you remember that?" Another nod let her keep talking. "Do you remember what I was like -before Gillian told you I was going out with Kate? Do you remember that dinner we had together?"

"Yeah," he whispered, concentrating on his hands. "You laughed and played games with us."

"Yeah; I was happy Lawrence. I know I'm your mother, and I know you love your Dad, but that man was," she stopped herself from swearing in front of Flora, fearing Kate's wrath if she ever found out, "sleeping with that _woman_ for months and months Lawrence. Ages. And I need you to see that. Your Dad did that, not me. He betrayed me, he hurt me, he treated me terribly and you're old enough to know and understand that," she sighed, rubbing her head where another headache was growing. "Kate took an interest in me, took an interest in me and made me feel so special. Do you know how long it's been since someone did that? Do you? I'm sure it was before William was born. And, look, I can only promise you to try my best Lawrence. That's the best I can give you."

He nodded, but wouldn't look at her and she sighed, standing again and moving to join William.

"She alright?"

"Yeah, she's wicked," he grinned. "She's really small."

"A little," Caroline nodded. "She was a bit early, weren't you sweetheart?"

Flora grizzled a little and Caroline slipped her arms under William's and picked her back up.

"She's due for another feed," she explained, going over to the wall and pushing the buzzer. It was Flora's third for the day and the nurse simply walked in and passed her the bottle.

She looked down at her child, and then across at her youngest. Her now middle child.

"Lawrence?"

He looked up as she pulled a chair across the room to sit in front of him.

"Make yourself useful, alright?"

She nodded William over to help him, and after a little bit of panic, got Flora settled in Lawrence's arms.

"She's going to cry in a bit if I don't get this sorted, but it's okay. She's just telling you she's hungry. But I have to warm this up a bit first."

She left William in charge with a stern look and went to warm the milk. She stood while it was going, thinking about what silly life choices she had made before Kate. The wail went up and she could feel the tension coming off Lawrence in waves.

"Relax," she said, leaning over his shoulder like she used to do when they were doing his homework together. "She'll know you're tense if you don't relax and then she'll cry because she thinks something is wrong."

She wrapped her arms around them both, securing the baby and giving him some love. It broke her heart when she thought of the last time she'd done this with him. Because she literally couldn't remember.

"Okay, she knows just what to do," Caroline told him, testing the temperature one last time. "Take the bottle up to her mouth and just rest it on her lip."

He did so and Flora immediately quieted down, sucking down her lunch with gusto.

"You did it," she whispered. A tear rolled down her face and she let her head fall onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry Lawrence."

She kissed his head, making sure he felt it, and stood, finally looking around the room.

"Where's Granny?"

"She wasn't sure if she would be allowed in," William said awkwardly. "So she's waiting outside."

"Oh for God's sake, Lawrence, you keep going, I'm going to get Granny."

"What? No!" he yelled, disturbing Flora's feed.

She screamed like she was being hurt and Caroline couldn't help but sweep her up into her arms and shove the bottle back in her mouth.

"It's okay," she said, rocking back and forth, not really sure who she was talking to. "It's okay, she's just startled."

"William, go and get Granny please."

"Wait? Why can't I go," Lawrence said, looking warily at Flora.

"Because you're going to burp her."

"I'm gonna what?"

"Come on," she grinned. "I thought you said you wanted me to be fun. I'm going to teach you how to burp a baby."

To his credit, even though he looked sceptical, he sat back down. Caroline started humming as Flora finished off her lunch, and smiled when she met Lawrence's eyes.

"I've never seen you like this," he muttered. "It's weird."

"She used to do this for hours with you," Celia said quietly from the door. "Fussiest eater on the planet, not that you'd know it now of course. She'd wander up and down the hallway humming to you while you screamed you little head off."

"Really?"

"Even I remember that," William said with a grin.

"Sorry," Lawrence said, looking pained.

"No," Caroline said. "Don't be sorry for something you couldn't control sweetheart. You were a baby and as any mother would, I occasionally got overwrought, but I loved being with you. I loved holding you," she ran her hands through his hair. "You were my baby."

"Not now though," he muttered.

"For always," Caroline said, stopping the rocking and the humming to look at him. "Lawrence?" she repeated, waiting until he looked at her. "Forever."

Something settled in him, she saw it in his eyes and she smiled. She leaned down to kiss him again when another knock at the door sounded.

"Oh!" Ginika said as she saw the people in the room. "Good afternoon."

"Ginika, is she okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing child," Ginika said with an easy smile. "She's being checked over by the doctor and it is one o'clock. Flora can come back with us after we've had some lunch."

Caroline grinned massively, she could feel it in her muscles, until she reminded herself that they weren't alone.

"Ginika, sorry. This is William," she squeezed his shoulder. "And Lawrence, and my mother Celia."

The greetings were passed around and hands were shaken and kisses were bestowed. Lawrence and Celia were back on the defensive, but William stood and gave her his chair.

"Oh no sweet boy, I've been sitting talking to Katherine all morning. A little time on my feet is fine."

Caroline glanced at Lawrence and decided to go ahead with her original plan. She sat back down on the chair next to Lawrence and reached over for a cloth to protect his shoulder and smiled reassuringly as she scooted forward.

"Alright sweetheart," she said, kissing Flora on the temple before looking over at Lawrence. "Rearrange that cloth over the shoulder you're going to put her on."

"I don't get it," he said, the panic overwhelming his face.

Caroline wanted to reach out, but Flora chose that moment to decide that she wanted to wriggle quite spectacularly and Caroline had to lean back until she'd settled, but in that moment, Ginika stepped forward and smiled at Lawrence.

"Would you mind,young man?"

She grinned into Flora's side as Ginika schooled Lawrence in burping a baby. Caroline chuckled while she rubbed Flora's back until Ginika had finished with him and she passed her new daughter over. Ginika stepped away, letting Caroline take over.

"Okay, You have to help her get the air from her stomach, or she'll get uncomfortable. Put your arm under her bum and then rub your hand up and down her back," she let him do so. "That's right."

She watching him for a few moments, making sure he was comfortable before turning to smile at her mother, who had a sour look on her face, and Ginika and William, who were chatting amiably.

"Right, I don't know about you, but I'm starving. William? Would you go and get some food for us? The cafeteria apparently does a fairly decent selection of sandwiches."

"Sure," he smiled.

"I think, young man, if you don't mind, I'd like to come with you. A little walk would do me good."

"No, no that's fine," he said, holding out his arm.

Caroline watched them go and then looked at her mother, whose mood had only turned more sour. She closed her eyes and wished for strength and hoping that Lawrence was going to excel at winding Flora, because she was desperately missing Kate.

"Mum?"

"Yes Lawrence?" she asked, turning back just before her mother managed to open her mouth to speak.

"I, is Kate alright?"

"She's -"

She wasn't sure how to answer that. Her resolution to speak to her children better was already one fraught with danger. She wanted to say that she was fine, that she was getting better all the time, but she couldn't tell him that until she was sure.

"She's okay at the moment. She," she cleared her throat, still finding it difficult to speak about. "She's got a lot of bruises and a few fractures but she also had internal bleeding. She," another deep breath. "She damaged her spleen."

"That's for like infections and stuff right?"

Caroline looked at her child, seeing someone she'd not met before.

"Um, yes I think so. Yes."

"You don't have act so surprised," he muttered.

"No, I, I didn't know you were into biology and -"

"I'm top of the class," he said with a sneer.

"You're what?"

"I'm top."

"Why haven't I heard this?" she asked him, feeling the anger building as her mind raced to find an answer.

"Liz Bennett won last year and she shouldn't have. I know I beat her and he didn't give it to me."

"Wait a moment, Mr Prichard gave her the Biology prize?"

"Yes," he looked up at her with a frown. "I thought you knew."

"No!" she said absolutely. "God, Lawrence, if I'd have known! I'll talk to Mark Prichard. I'll get him to -"

"No," Lawrence said. "I don't want a fuss, it's just not fair."

"Too right it's not, which is why it's not going to happen again, and why I'm going to start asking them to send me your marks."

"No, God Mum, please don't do that."

"Lawrence, it's been so long since I've even seen a report from you, if I hadn't had to sign all of them, I wouldn't know what one looked like."

Flora let up a wail and Caroline tried to calm herself down.

"Sorry," she said. She looked at him again and knelt down in front of him. "You thought I knew and didn't care."

"You always thought William was good at everything, and then there was just idiot me."

Poor Flora had been cried on by so many people today that Caroline was worried they'd have to change her clothes. Lawrence's tears wet her blanket and Caroline pulled them both into a hug.

"I know I've been pretty rubbish at being your Mum lately. And I'm not going to blame it on anyone, because I know you don't want to hear it, but darling, I promise you I'm going to do better." She stared at him until he nodded. "I _promise_ you. But you've got to meet me halfway. I want you to talk to me, I don't care about what. Just for a few minutes every day about something that's bothering you. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Yeah," he nodded, wiping his nose. "Okay."

"Good," she smiled, kissing his forehead. "Good job you put that cloth down," she chuckled. "She's puked all over you!"

"Ew, gross," he wailed, making even Celia chuckle.

"Nowt but a bit of vomit Lawrence," Celia laughed. "We got more of that on us; your mother and I, than you and your brother when you were little."

Caroline smiled just barely and nodded, winking at Lawrence, who looked very uncomfortable now.

"Come on, let's get this madam off to sleep and then we'll have lunch."

"Isn't Kate on her own right now?" Lawrence said awkwardly.

"She is," Caroline said tightly, wishing he hadn't brought it up. "The doctors don't let us stay when they're checking her out though."

"I think maybe you should have lunch with her. We can stay here, if you like and then like Kate's Mum said, we can bring, um, the baby to you."

"I'd love that," she said quietly, running her hands through his hair again. "If you're sure?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Kate needs someone there with her."

She rocked Flora off to sleep, and placed her into her cot with a kiss before pushing her into the corner and turning off the lights. She was sleeping peacefully for now, but Caroline knew that it would not be for long. The nurses had informed her earlier that they were a little concerned at how little she was sleeping, but Caroline had hatched a plan that morning. She was going to get some alone time with Flora and Kate and see about putting them together. Kate needed to understand that Flora needed her to be awake, needed her to know that she was a Mum now and above all, Caroline did not want the little one to become dependent on a bottle. Kate would be heartbroken and Caroline was never going to do that to her. As soon as William and Ginika came back, she'd nip down there with her lunch, kiss Kate, eat lunch, then kiss Kate some more in the hope that like a childish _Sleeping Beauty_ type dream she would wake up. And if that didn't work, she was ready for hard work. She was done being sad and depressed and lonely.

She was going to wake her soul mate up.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Good day all of you brilliant people! I apologise for the time between updates, but my life has taken a rather dramatic turn. I have fallen in love (I am deadly serious!) with the most perfect woman I've ever met (lucky me, I know!) - through here no less! How good is FanFiction! And how awesome is Last Tango for being the medium through which my girl and I met!**

**I hope you all continue to enjoy The Fix, despite Last Tango having finished. As always, thank you to my betas ****_shallotpeel_**** and ****_the iron ill _****(my beautiful girlfriend) for editing my work!**

-0-

William and Ginika had come back with lunch, and Caroline negotiated with the day nurses to get Ginika the permission she needed to take Flora down to Kate once they'd all finished their own lunch. She had no qualms whatsoever passing over her own mother to give Ginika the permission, but she knew it would no doubt come back to bite her. At that moment, however, she didn't care; once it was done, she was off down the corridors to see her wife.

She pushed through the doors and was already grinning when she swept back the curtain.

What she saw sent a chill down her spine and she stumbled against the wall, the sandwich in her hand forgotten on the floor

"Kate?"

She looked around, more than confused over the blank space she was gaping at.

"KATE!"

"Miss? Can I -"

"Where is my wife?" she snapped, sweeping back the curtain. "Where the hell is she. Please," her anger dissolved into despair as the worst possible thoughts overwhelmed her. "Please, please, please, where is she. I can't, I need to. Where is she?"

"Ma'am I need you to calm down," the little upstart said, patronising her in the worst way.

"Don't give me that you snotty little girl, where the HELL IS MY WIFE!"

"Mrs Dawson?"

She spun around, nearly socking the next person to give her some ridiculous excuse as to where Kate was.

"Mrs Dawson," he explained quickly. "Your wife has been moved to a private room."

The wind fell out of her sails. She wasn't sure what he was saying, and she was trembling. For one horrifying moment, she thought her worst fears had been realised. She felt her body give way and she ended up in a chair that appeared under her.

"What did you say?"

"When we checked your wife over -"

"Kate," Caroline said. "Her name is Kate."

"Kate then, we were very pleased with her progress and decided that she could be moved into a private room, I understand you have a baby in the nursery?"

"Yes," Caroline said, still reeling.

"Well, we'll give them a call and let them know of the changes," the man smiled, but she couldn't return it.

"So, she's okay? She's okay, but she's not awake?"

"We think she's come through the worst of it," he said tentatively, "but there's still no sign of her waking, no."

"What does that, what does that mean?"

"It means that we've given her another brain scan and cleared her of any brain injury _and _thus far, deduced that she's free of infection. Really what I'm saying is that we're all quietly hopeful that it will happen in the next few days."

Caroline's heart sped up and she smiled, looking up at him.

"Thank you," she said wholeheartedly, standing to shake his hand heartily. "Thank you so much."

She was on her way out when the doctor stopped her.

"Don't you want to know where she is?"

Caroline blushed, shaking for a different reason now and nodding while he wrote down Kate's room number and the ward she was on. She thanked him again and was off like a shot.

The nurse's station was manned by a big guy with a genuine smile and she breathlessly told him who she was.

"Sure thing love," he said in an accent. "If'n you want to be goin' in now, I think they're bringing the wee bairn in just a moment."

Caroline swung around the corner and beamed when she saw Kate, her hair freshly laid out around her, looking so peaceful.

"Hello beautiful," she muttered, leaning over and kissing her softly. She remember what Dominic had told her and pushed her lips onto Kate's with just a little more force. "Whoever thought three years ago that it would be me pushing you to kiss me," Caroline chuckled darkly.

She spent more than a few moments just looking at Kate. Her dark skin was a disadvantage, but Caroline thought that she seemed to look better than the day before. She felt better somehow as well. Caroline was a scientist, concerned with facts, figures, theories and hypotheses, but since Kate's accident, since the day when her whole world changed? She had become all about feelings and myths and stories. She'd prayed every waking moment that Kate would come through it. She wasn't sure what to make of herself and had a strong suspicion that right now, all she was doing was sticking her head in the sand and pretending that everything was alright. It was something at least, that she could acknowledge it.

"Your Mum and my Mum met today," she said, taking Kate's hand and rubbing her thumb over her ring. "It's not like your Mum will take any shit from my mother, but I don't want that here," she frowned. "I just, I want you to get better, I _need_ you to get better."

She sat in silence as she contemplated both matriarchs. Celia was still annoyed at her, underneath it all and honestly, she was still livid. She'd thought they were past the pettiness and the judgmental bigotry. She wasn't sure what she was most angry about, missing her wedding, or letting Lawrence do the same. She cursed herself for getting caught up in it again and dropped Kate's hand to stand up. Kate had taught her a breathing exercise, months ago, the morning after the night before, as it were. Christmas morning. The terror that she'd faced then, of joining her family downstairs at the very same place that she had squandered Kate's love so stupidly and endured a night of imagining Kate fucking a man. All those thoughts had caused her to have a panic attack. Kate's gentle hands and soft words had kept her from tumbling over the cliff into hysteria, and after, when she had more control over her breathing, they had sat together, naked as the day they were born, just breathing.

It was freeing.

She closed her eyes and remembered that feeling, Kate pushed up against her back, as much as the baby, their baby - Flora, would allow. She could feel the bare skin of her belly against her back, and through it all, Kate was there.

It was the very thing that made her so determined now. The scientist in her called it poppycock and the scientist in her was very loud. But there was a tiny part of her, that tiny part that loved it when Kate stroked her face, and ran her fingers through her hair as she read French novels out loud. The part that could pick up enough of the story to be able to imagine her own story, complete with dark, sexy heroines riding into battle on a white horse to save the poor ignorant girl.

Because that is what Kate had done. People on the outside would assume that it was Caroline who was the strong one; cultivated by years of practice as Headmistress of a Sulgrave Heath. How wrong they would be. It was Kate that had the strength, and so, in the quiet of a silent room, Caroline began to panic.

She was not the strong one. She did not know how to do this. She could not even talk to her teenage son, let alone care for a baby. How was she supposed to choose between Flora and Kate. When the time came, what if she chose wrong. What if she had to choose the one that inevitably would cause her to lose the other. Flora was so precious, and she had never imagined herself thinking that. The baby, the baby that nearly ruined them had captured her heart so completely.

A hand on her arm made her jump back with a yell. She blinked to see her boys, Ginika and her mother all staring at her.

"Sorry," she said shakily. "I was miles away."

"No worries," Ginika said, rubbing her arm. "Katherine looks better already."

"Alright love?" Celia asked across the room.

"Yes, thanks," she nodded, trying to get her thoughts together again.

"She pooped," Lawrence said with a grimace. "It was dis-gusting."

"Oh, everything was alright?" she asked, looking to the other two women.

"The nurse said it was fine," Celia said quickly, shooting a look at Ginika.

"Good," she finally got herself together as William wrapped his arms around her. "You didn't change it I suppose?" she asked looking at her eldest.

"The nurse said she had to, if you weren't there, even with Gin here."

Caroline looked down at him, astounded at his manners, but a chuckle from Ginika eased her thoughts.

"I asked him to call me that Caroline," she placated. "My mother was the only one to call me by my full name. I've always just been Gin."

"Oh, right," Caroline said, nodding. It wouldn't have mattered, there was no way she was calling Kate's mother Gin.

She glanced at her watch and then at her tiny daughter, still sleeping happily for now.

"What are you planning?" Celia asked, already onto her daughter's sneakiness.

"I think, well, in the other wards, they do their rounds every hour. And it's now on the hour, so I'm waiting until they're been and gone. Then I might see if I can't get Kate some cuddles with Flora. They keep saying we have to wait, but I don't want to."

"Good job I came back when I did then!" Dominic said from the door. "At least this way I can help you."

"Dominic!" she called, rushing over to shake his hand. He chuckled and shook it, before pulling her into a hug.

"I told you, you remind me of Mum."

"Yes, well," she blushed under both mother's stares. "Dominic, this is my mother Celia, my sons, Lawrence and William and Kate's mother, Ginika. This is Dominic," she paused and smiled at him. "He saved Kate's life."

"Then we, dear boy, are forever in your debt," Ginika said, moving forward to hug him.

"I was just doing my job," Dominic smiled as she pulled away.

"No," Caroline shook her head. "Not afterwards."

"Well," he blushed. "Now, what were you saying about sneakily getting some Mummy and baby time?"

"Um," Caroline bit her lip.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll help."

"I thought you were off for a while?"

"I am," he chuckled. "They needed me to come back and check something. Happens all the time."

Caroline shook her head, but didn't comment. She worked long hours as Headmistress, she couldn't imagine long shifts as a doctor.

"Right," he said, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "Where's this baby of yours?"

"This is Flora," Caroline said, picking her up.

"Gosh, but she's cute!" Dominic gushed.

A knock sounded on the door, and Dominic waved the duty nurse away, assuring her that he'd sign the charts for her.

"Alright, now we're alone."

He picked up her chart and read through a couple of pages, checked on the machines and glanced out of the door.

"I'm so not supposed to do this, but what the hell."

"Why _are _you doing this?" Celia asked, in only the way she could.

"Because he is a good man," Ginika said, her own eyebrow matching Celia's.

"Because I couldn't imagine how my life would be if my Mum and Ma were in this position. I'd want to do anything for them."

"Wait, you've got two Mums too?" Lawrence asked.

Caroline's eyes widened and she nearly dropped the baby when she realised what he'd said. William opened his mouth to comment and she glared at him savagely, startling him into silence. They would _not_ be drawing attention to what he'd said. Not at all. Caroline let a tear roll down her face and she turned to wipe it away without his seeing. It would be enough for now that he thought that, however much in the abstract.

She rejoined the conversation as Dominic was talking about his sister and how his mother, mothers, had each given birth.

"Isn't it like, weird?"

"No," Dominic shrugged. "Not at all, they're just like every other Mum. Except I have two. I reckon I'm pretty lucky actually."

Caroline could have kissed the young doctor. If ever she could have designed a role-model for Lawrence to get on with, he could not have been more perfect than this man. They chatted for a while longer until Flora grizzled.

"Oh hey, forgot about you little lady," Dominic chuckled. "Lawrence, we'll chat more okay? But we've gotta get this one with her Mum for a while."

He checked and rechecked, then raised Kate's bed just a little so she was no longer flat.

"Boys, Grandmas? I think this ought to be just the mothers at this stage. We can definitely do it again if all goes well, but for now, I think it needs to be this."

They agreed and went off in search of tea while Dominic closed the door behind him.

"You are in my debt more than you know," Caroline whispered. "You've just given Lawrence something just as precious as your giving Kate back to me."

"Well, then we'll agree to be mates and you can just owe me," he chuckled. "Maybe once I find the right woman and have some kids, you can put in a good word at that fancy school of yours. I hear the Head is a bit of a dragon."

She laughed, and nodded, shifting Flora in her arms.

"Right, her rib bruising looks like it's healing, rather than getting worse, so I'm thinking a bit of Kangaroo time," Dominic said. "Which means we're going to have to be a bit forward with your wife, but that's why I sent them out."

"Okay."

"If you want to put her down while we get Kate ready, I'm thinking that once Flora realises where she is, she might well latch on and have her first real feed."

"Is that, can she do that?"

"Definitely," Dominic said, looking warily at the door. "But I _so_ shouldn't be doing this."

"I don't want to get you in trouble," Caroline said. "God, I really don't."

"No, it's okay," he grinned. "I'll just flash my charming smile at them."

"And if it's that big guy from the front desk?"

"Pfft," Dominic laughed. "He's a teddy bear."

Caroline didn't feel quite as relaxed as Dominic looked, but went along with him. They fiddled around with Kate's gown for a while until she was bare. Caroline pulled the blanket up over her.

"So we're going to go with her right side; her left is where the incision is. I'll make a note on her chart for when they come to pump more milk to only do so from the left."

Caroline nodded, her hand sweating at what they were doing. It felt strange, weird. Wrong even, but she pushed through it. Surely it was worth it if Kate woke up, surely it was worth it to get Flora her first proper feed.

"Alright, you come around here. It'll be a bit awkward but I can't raise her more than this. If you put Flora on her side almost, laying into Kate, and then if she shows interest, we can roll her onto Kate's chest a bit," he nodded as he watched what she was doing. "That's the way. Just got to make sure Flora can breathe if she does start feeding. But she should be fine."

Caroline concentrated on Flora, rather than Kate's bare breasts, open to the world. It was the most awkward feeling in a way, seeing them in that situation. Before, Caroline found them to be the most perfect thing she'd ever seen, enhanced only by the rest of Kate's body around them, but in this setting, she wasn't aroused. That in itself was a bit painful to realise.

"Caroline! Look," Dominic said, pulling her back to the present.

She looked down and saw Flora nudging against Kate's breast, her little arms waving about excitedly.

"Okay, roll her over onto Kate now," Dominic said, leaning over to help her.

Caroline wasn't sure what to do except hold Flora and Dominic eased her fears.

"She'll do the rest, just watch."

It was the most beautiful thing in the world when Flora latched on, like she'd been doing it her whole, short, life. Caroline shuddered as tears started pouring down her face, and Dominic raced around the bed to help stabilise Flora as she slumped down in a chair.

"They're doing it Caroline, it's going to be alright," he muttered, rubbing her back.

She sobbed and sobbed into her hands. The pressure and the upset and the tension from the hours since she last cried had all piled up on top of her and she couldn't help it.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Caroline stood like she'd been screamed to attention and looked to the door, finding Anna standing there with her hand on her hip.

"I came here to give you a bottle, and look what you've done," she cracked a smile. "Let this idiot corrupt you Caroline. Honestly I thought you knew better!"

"It was my idea," Carline said, wiping her tears. "He barged in on me."

"Yeah," Anna said, slapping Dominic's arm when he was in reach. "Whatever. He didn't tell you he used to be in Paediatrics did he? I know you would have thought about it, Caroline, I could see it in your eyes every time I looked at you, but I don't doubt he's the one who helped," Anna shook her head. "You're a rogue Dominic Perkins."

Caroline watched the doctor and nurse looked at each other and wondered if she and Kate were ever that obvious. It may have explained Beverly's attitude towards them whenever they were together, but surely not. You could feel the tension in the room.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat, ignoring them completely to stroke Kate's face, nudging Dominic out of the way so she could lay her head down with her wife and child.

"Kate? Do you feel that? That's Flora, you're feeding your baby Kate. She's here, and she's doing everything right. There's nothing you can't do is there," she chuckled. "Imagine how good you'll both be together when you wake."

Caroline kept on stroking Kate's face, and if it wasn't for Flora's sneeze, she would have missed it.

She chuckled, looking down at her baby, helping her back onto Kate's breast. As she looked along Kate's body, she frowned and looked closer at Kate's fingers.

"Look," she said, pointing to Kate's hand. "She's moving."

Dominic and Anna both looked down just as Kate's hand fully twitched, closer to her body.

"Caroline, very carefully I want you to lift Kate's arm around Flora," Dominic said, looking up at the monitors. "The arm should move how you want it to, but if you feel any resistance from Kate, just wait her out.

Caroline did what was asked of her, running her hand down the bare skin and then wrapping the arm over Flora's body.

"That's it," he said with a nod. "Her vitals are stabilising. She's getting better Caroline, Kate is getting better, even as we sit here."

"Lucky," Anna growled. "Could you imagine what would have happened if she'd -"

She didn't finish her sentence and Caroline was tempted to make them leave, but she could practically feel Kate and Fora's happiness and she revelled in it. Her fingers tangled with Kate's over her daughter and Kate's body gave a sigh.

"I think, once Flora's finished we'll call and have those oxygen tubes removed. Sometimes if the patient has to work a bit harder, they'll wake up. It's the indignant nature of all people I think."

"Thank you," Caroline said suddenly, looking up from where she'd laid her head down beside Kate's. "Thank you for giving this to me, it's," she didn't have the words. "It's -"

"Precious," Anna said reluctantly. "I'm glad you could do this Caroline, I really am," she glared up at Dominic. "Despite idiots like this one prompting you. I guess I'll be the one to take the fall on the chart then shall I?"

"That'd be great," Dominic muttered, peering over the nurse's shoulder to read what she was writing.

Caroline smiled and went back to tracing Kate's cheek with her nose. If she'd have known them better, she would have told them to get a room already, but she was going to ignore them in favour of being with her family. It wasn't quite reclining on their bed, wrapped around each other watching Flora, but it was close. It was closer than she thought she'd get.


End file.
